The end

All love stories come with an expiry date. For some this date of expiry comes after years of together and for others this could be as short as a few days.

If your are lucky  enough, your great saga of love would reach it’s climax  before this unfortunate date of expiry. In that case your memories would freeze in to what would become your sacred revered love story, the one that would become your solace during the darkest hours of your life.It would be always be cherished, recalled with fond and mourned with dignity.

But if this story of yours goes on beyond this threshold of time, it will be forced to change it’s course from being the beautiful account of being in love in to a revolting account of falling out of love. Lucky are those whose journey together end before this ugly turn of events, for they would always have a piece of their loved ones to cling on to throughout their life.

And for the others, the less fortunate ones, life would become a baffling space.They would watch in horror the inevitable transformation of their loved ones – the ones who once were the center of their universe; their biggest source of joy and strength – into someone sinister;someone whom they would learn to hate with all their heart; someone with whom they could not bear to be alone with even for a few seconds!

And that ought to be the most traumatic experience a person could ever go through, to lose one’s love and not be able to mourn it properly; to be convinced that something you considered the most precious thing in your life was nothing more than a perverted illusion!

My Life · random

This is not fair

The world we live in is one unfair place. It is biased towards one particular class of people and people like us just suck that up and act as if it is not an issue at all.

Well, this world always favors early risers. If you are unable to wake up early in the morning, your life is doomed. Your life will be full of messy hair days, wrinkled clothes, burnt toast, skipped breakfasts, speeding tickets and shame. You will have to sneak into your work place every single day, you head hung low, praying frantically that no one notices you. And there will always be those traitors, few ‘early rising very punctual’ colleagues, who would give you a knowing smile as soon as they see you.Of course,their smile is always accompanied by a mocking question “running late??”. Well no,I am just on time as per my biological clock.

And then on days, when you manage to drag your sorry ass off the bed an hour early and finally make to the office on time, the same group of losers will feign surprise and pass comments  like..”Wow, I guess its gonna snow today even though it summer, look who is here on time…”. Ha ha, very funny.

I understand why this early to rise early to bed routine came into being. Sun was the only source of our light and our life depended on it. But that was centuries ago. Why do we have to cling on to that old school stuffs in this new era when it doesn’t matter any more.?Why should I not sleep when I want to and work when I want to? Why are we still stuck in that stone age?

I know there are work places that allows flexibility in their timings. But what can one do when the rest of the world doesn’t comply with this much required luxury? Schools start at 8 in the morning. EIGHT for god’s sake! Well if that doesn’t mortify you, the school bus pick up time is 7:15 am. And mind you I am talking about kids as young as 5 years!

So adding a good 30  mins for brushing, bathing and other daily business and at least 15 minutes for breakfast, kids need to wake up at least by 6:30 am. And what about the unfortunate parents? No ,I don’t even want to think about it.

Late risers are denied so many basic rights. We don’t get time to sip our morning coffee in peace, we can’t go for morning jogs, we can’t  cook a healthy lunch, we can’t even spend more than 5 minutes to tame our wild hair. We are always looked down upon. We are always left breathless after the morning rush which ends up  ruining our whole day. And on the top of all of these we are always made to feel guilty. We are reduced to a lower level of existence.

And if you haven’t learnt the truth yet, it’s not something that could be mended, waking up late I mean. Research has proved that the brain structure of the night owls are very different from that of the so called morning people. Is that our fault that we are wired differently ? So what if we don’t want to wake up early, shouldn’t we be given an equal opportunity to lead a hassle free life? Why this discrimination?

Ah..I can’t even envision myself waking up at 6 every single day for the rest of my life. I can surely foresee my kid missing the bus and reaching the school late at least a couple of times. This is not fair!


Challenge it is!

And I have decided to take up the A to Z challenge this year.

After gloriously giving up on this challenge last year after a couple of posts, I had vowed to never sign up for any writing challenge ever again. But then after almost 4 months of dormancy on this blog of mine, I think this is the only way to help me re-start writing.

I am not a writer, so I won’t call this phase a writer’s block. But what ever it is, I have stopped doing the one thing that I enjoy doing.So A to Z challenge it is, to overcome this ‘just-plain-lazy-phase’ of mine.

And as for theme reveal, I am undertaking the ‘not any particular theme-anything under the sun(or may be even beyond the sun)’ strategy.  And I really hope to finally pull my poor blog out from it’s hibernation.

Wish me the best 🙂 !



Life seems to be racing by. Each second gallops away ever before I comprehend it’s loss.Seconds, minutes,hours,days,weeks,months years….I just stand still in a daze watching them slip through my fingers.

The scenes around me change. New faces, new places, new technologies,new gadgets, new kinds of cuisine,new books, new movies..they just zoom past me before I can appreciate them. They confuse me, the freshness they offer makes me breathless.I feel a sharp instinct to run after them, to catch hold of them,explore them and may be even start to like them.But then my chains drags me behind.How can I keep up with them when I carry around this heavy bundle from my past ? I don’t want to break free as I have grown fond of these chains that bind me.So I suppress my instinct and shift back to my trace,reluctant to move away from the comfort of my past.
I cannot make myself move an inch, I just stay rooted to the spot weighing in my options watching years fly.

And the time, it waits for no one.It races past me.I wish I could catch up, knowing very well that I would never dare to!


Confused -yet again

When your have a lot of things stuffed, or perhaps over stuffed , into the small crammy space called your mind, it is difficult to single out one memory and write about it. I feel that all those things from my past have formed a medley and have become so influenced by each other that I myself can’t distinguish between the real and fake ones.That is a little scary situation, not knowing if something that you grow fond of really happened or was a figment of your imagination :).

My mind is like a poorly maintained cupboard with all kind of things tossed in and the doors squeezed closed. If I open those doors, I am sure I will be drowned by the bulk of things that would fall all over me.Some of those heavy ones would even hurt me.It would overwhelm me and I might have to spend a great deal of time trying to bury them back behind the doors.But yes, it would be fun examining the odd things during the process, may be some of them would give me a smile or two, may be I would want to put a few of them away for good, may be I would polish a few dull pieces or may be I would share a few with others….

I had planned to share 26 posts on a few fragments from my past life….for the A to Z challenge.But here I sit, scratching my head trying to find one thing to write about, let alone the fact that it should begin with the respective letter.I hope I can figure out a few soon :)…well I think I keep living up to my blogs title yet again…Confused….as always..

Any suggestions anybody ?


A to Z challenge -Theme Reveal

I am not the most disciplined person out there. I usually sign up for all the challenges that  catch my attention, with the sincerest interest and passion, but two three days into it , I give up on it.

I do not have to apologize or anything for this, as writing on this blog is something that matters solely to me and why should I beat myself up to catch up to any challenge that is way above my league. But it feels  good giving a try and finding myself being a part of a bigger community :).

So once again, I have decided to sign up for a challenge and I really hope I will make it this time :).

This is the A-Z challenge  that i am talking about and  “A to Z Challenge Theme Reveal BlogFest” by TeamDamyanti takes this challenge a notch higher by suggesting the bloggers to select a theme for these 26 posts.

It is difficult to write 26 posts a month, and having to cling on to one particular theme is not going to make it any easier.

I really want to base my posts on the “Memories” that enrich my life, but I don’t know how far I can go.

Counting down to 1st April with crossed fingers 🙂


Random Stupid Thoughts

When you feel the need to be yourself and you don’t figure out who the real you is, things kinda gets complicated.Not that I am complicated, it is just that I feel I am complicated…a kind of self patronizing.So you decide to discover yourself through the random thoughts that invade your solitude, but you feel embarrassed to express them lest the world think lesser of you!

Have you longed of breaking free from the bonds of your identity and considered living only for yourself in the ways that appeals to you, without feeling a tinge of guilt of being totally selfish? Have you just for a moment wished no one cared what you did?  That you would just vanish from the spot and no one would even notice!

Now, that is equally disturbing when viewed from a different angle.Who would want to remain invisible to the world? Aren’t we humans technically termed ‘social animal’ , so without the ‘social’ part we are all just ‘animals’.Is it this appalling possibility of being branded as a ‘mere animal’  which forces us to give the social side of existence more importance than our actual existence?

How many of us do all things we do only because we wanted to do it in the first place? May be I have done a thing or two in my life for myself, but the rest of it has gone with the flow,I have merely done what the world wanted me to do!

Or is there anything that I want to do for myself or is it just a crazy longing just to prove that there is more to myself than what I have built up in these years of being alive?

When you finally accept the fact that you are just going to be one of those million faces that is going to sink into the mighty oblivion and that you would leave behind nothing sans a pile of bones, you should technically stop being concerned about what others would perhaps think about you (if they ever happen to find some time to do that). But no, all your life you keep fretting about you image, your identity (what ever it is supposed to mean).

Do we all have identities, something that separates us from the rest of us?Or is it just another clever theory to make the ‘very ordinary’ us to feel special? How am I different from the rest of the million people out there? I sometimes wonder if there is a person out there doing the exactly same thing that I am doing at exactly the same moment and his/her mind responding in the same way to the process.

We humans tend to complicate things. We always try to find bigger deeper things while just the superficiality is more than enough for our survival. I am not complaining about this nature, for without this level of curiosity wouldn’t I still be roaming in some forest hunting for my next meal instead of typing all these rubbish?

If at all you happen to read this, I would like to Thank You…for taking the precious seconds out of your life to listen to my gibberish! Thanks for being a fellow human, thanks for breathing in the same air and resonating in the same energy sphere!!