My Life

Wedding Bells


It is said that the wedding day is the most beautiful day in a girl’s life.

Ah..that is so much of an overrated statement. I cannot talk for others, but in my case experiences that I had on my wedding day is something that I never want to indulge in my life ever again.

A wedding in Kerala, irrespective of castes and religions, is considered incomplete without a bride adorned with gold jewelry from head to toe.In fact, the rule of thumb is that the bride should wear as many gold bangles as her arms would carry, as many necklaces and chains as her body could support.One of the major job of the beauticians is to arrange these chains in perfect order,in steps, so that all these chains are proudly displayed one below the another.Not at all an easy job!

Technically,these ornaments are not considered dowry. In most of the cases they are voluntarily given by the girl’s parents even when the grooms side “graciously makes no demands”.It is like a status symbol or something.I think the people in Kerala spend a major portion of their savings on two things- marriage of their children and a mammoth sized house with unwanted luxury.(I am not stereotyping, I can only talk about Kerala as I am from there, not sure if it is the same everywhere else).

source: google search

I did not want my parents to spend a fortune on my marriage. I told them I will wear no more than two necklaces. Ah…I even boycotted my own wedding shopping, except for the shopping for the clothes( which i am glad i did because I convinced my mother to buy a cheaper wedding saree). I refused to even look at the jewelry that my mother had bought for me. I told her repeatedly not to buy any more of them and that I would NOT wear any.I was often reprimanded by other elders in my family for giving my parent’s a hard time.

But alas, I ended up wearing all those stupid chains and bangles anyway. Parents have their own ways to make their kids act the way they want,right ?

So yes, the heavy saree, the make up(it actually ended up looking like whitewash, I swear), the long flower garland pinned into the hair(the strong smell of which actually gave me a head ache after a while), all those stupid jewelry on the top of it and like an icing on the cake -the wedding photography.

I must say, wedding photographers in India are the most innovative people in the world. The kind of ideas they come up are really commendable. I remember, when we reached my husband’s house after the function, one of them asked us to walk into the bedroom and close the bedroom door behind us so that they could shoot it and put it as the climax of the events in the wedding video…I wonder if they had planned to show two red roses coming together before the closing credits ! I haven’t felt bold enough to watch the whole of my wedding day video yet, even after almost 6 years of  my marriage (the fact that there are two versions of our wedding video,one by the photographers we hired and other by the photographers my husband’s family hired, did not help either), so I can’t tell for sure if they had indeed added such a ridiculous sequence.

Today’s wedding photography have become even more colorful with bride and groom wearing goggles along with their traditional dresses, the couples giving out ‘yo’ poses.And those wedding video have excellent choreography and editing making them as good as any movie song!

Thankfully we did not have any outdoor photo shoots after the wedding day.Yes, I am talking about the ones in which the couples are asked to romance like in old movies,running around trees, groom lifting up the bride, eye locks and what not!

Yeah, I have all those typical mallu wedding poses of mine  in the wedding album.Me tightening the ear rings, face in between the ‘bangle-obese’ hands etc,etc :)..Not to forget the hundred something  poses with the countless relatives, with a fake smile plastered on my face

To sum up, I believe in marriages,but I hate weddings. I wish I was bold enough to put my foot down and demand a simple wedding sans gold,makeup and professional photography :(…


22 thoughts on “Wedding Bells

  1. I agree with you. I did it in practice. All that you thought I practically did. My wife was normally dressed. I married in a court as per Indian Marriage Act 1954. We had three witnesses. The lunch followed had only 5 people in a restaurant at Bandra, Mumbai. In 1989, my total expenditure was less than Rs.500/-. Never be under the impression that I did not have money. I had precisely Rs. 54,500/- in my account. I could have brought it down to Rs. 1000/-. I used that money to set up my house.

  2. I can see where you’re coming from. All I can say is that you should wait for your own child to get married and we’ll see how you like her to be dressed like she’s going to a picnic!

    1. thats what my mom tells me..she tells me that when it comes to my daughters wedding il turn in to one of those controlling moms myself…i am quite confidednt i can do better though..::P

  3. I would have written the same post. same thoughts.. same rebellion.. same ending… except there was an outdoor shooting with me and husband running to each other, me blowing flowers, peeking from behind coconut tree and what not 🙂

  4. “in my case experiences that i had on my wedding day is something that I never want to indulge in my life ever again.”

    Remya, even I hate the series of incidents that happened on my wedding day. Of course, our reasons are pretty different. But yes, I didn’t have any jewellery, costly wedding sarees, make-up, no relatives and no video shoots. Just the way I had always wanted it to be. The sad part is we didn’t have even our parents or their blessings.

    1. Rekha..I know you must have missed the presence of your family on your big day….but other than that I really doubt you missed anything else :)….and I am glad that your parents accepted your relationship in the end an it all turned out to be a happily ever after 😀

  5. In many (maybe most?) ceremonies/functions, much more attention is paid to the side stuff, which is actually inconsequential, than to the ceremonies/functions themselves.

    Since many years, the most important persons in many weddings are the photographers. The bride, groom, their parents and the priests all have to obey the photographer while conducting the ceremonies.

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