“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow”
These are perhaps the most sensible lines of poetry that I have ever come across.Parents always want the best for their children.-the most misused excuse in the world.Parents indeed want the best for the children, but how can we be sure that what we envision is the best? How is it fair to forcefully feed our thoughts and dreams into our kids?
As the poet wisely puts-our children come through us, not from us!As parents,we are supposed to love our kids with all our heart which,fortunately, is the most natural and most easiest thing in the world.What we are not supposed to do is tell them what their destiny is! That is something they have to find for themselves, that is their right,their life is their own fight!!
Being that said, I do realize the anxiety of being a parent.All parents, be it the CEO of a multinational company or a manual laborer, worry about their kids- no matter how much they grow up!I The world is competitive and cruel, not everybody thrive here.Some people fail miserably, we all want to see our kids emerge as winners, we want them to have a secure future!
If we really want the best for our children, should we not let them blossom they way they are meant to?Too much pushing, too much pressurizing, threatening, forcing- these are indeed going to kill their zest,aren’t they?If I am asked what gifts I would give my kid for her to have a secure future and a better life, I would narrow down on the below five things
- The wisdom to know what is best for her and the freedom to pick it
- The best education in the field that she chooses based on her above wisdom 🙂
- Consciousness about the need to eat healthy and be healthy
- A great circle of people around her whom she can turn to for support ,with whom she can share the little joys and sorrows of her life as friends,co-workers and family!
- A good financial base for her future endeavors
Before I became a mother, I used to imagine about what kind of mother I want to be.I always assured myself that I would never be one of those competitive comparing Moms who always worries that her kid is not as good as other kids of his/her age group.But then when I became a mother ,I just can’t resist comparing.I was worried when my little one did not catch up on her milestones as quickly as the other kids of her age did.My daughter was a slow talker and I was indeed concerned the by the time she turned two,in spite of all the reassurance from her doctor.I know my kid is doing extremely good and that all children are different, but I want her to be as good as other kids of her age.What a hypocrite am I? May be I will use that same excuse which parents have been using for generations when they push their kids too far- we just want the best for our children!!
I will always try to keep in mind the above lines of poetry and remember that every individual has the right to live life their way, no matter whose child he or she is.A parent’s way of thinking and ideologies can influence the child, but that influence should be out of a free will and not because of emotional blackmail or plain threatening!!
It easy to lose all our principles and resolutions when it comes to our kids.I am not the most perfect parent out there, but as any other parent I am sure I would strive to make life a little more beautiful for my daughter!!