Opinion

How to be an almost perfect spouse


There is a lot of stereotyping around the globe.When I read through the “Men are from Mars” type of advises circulating ,I cringe.So I have built my own list which speaks about 10 things that a husband should avoid doing to their wife and vice versa. Men are not from Mars and Women are not from Venus.They are both from this very earth, they are partners and need to co exists 🙂

Poor men have been fed day after day with craps like ‘Husbands!Do not forget birthdays and anniversaries or you are finished’ or ‘Never tell your wife that she is fat’ or ‘Agree to what your wife has to say’ etc.
I am sure we are all sensible enough to acknowledge the crappiness of these cheesy lines.
What did these commentators think women are – helpless insecure snobs?

Let me tell you the real 10 things that I believe a wife would never want her husband to do.

10. Never ever ‘command’ , ask politely-never take for granted


Years of companionship might lead to familiarity and we take things for granted.When things are taken for granted the courtesy and politeness ultimately vanish.
No one wants to be ordered around.If ever you want something to be done by your better half,ask it nicely.
Be polite,respect her.Add pleases and could yous.
Not much difference when you say it, but it makes all difference in the world to her.After all you don’t own her to give her orders, do you? Marriage is more of a give and take relationship and to take something you have to be polite enough. Your polite gestures would translate as your respect for her and would definitely make a difference in your relationship

9. Never insult her in front of others.

You might be a comedy king with great ‘sarcastic’ humor sense and your ‘thing’ would be to ‘confess’ in a group gathering about ‘ How bad your wife cooks’ or ‘What stupidity she did  the other day’.You might see the crowd roll on the floor laughing. But then, that was not funny.What you just did was not at all humorous, it was something pathetic and sadistic.Go find some other subject to keep your friends amused.
Another big NO is shouting at your wife in front of others.If at all you find her actions offending, save the talks for a time when you both are alone. This would certainly ensure a healthier relationship.

8 Don’t ignore her talks

Yeah, I know.You might have grown up hearing ‘facts’ about the weaker sex like ‘ wife keeps on nagging’ or ‘women just never shuts their bloody mouth’.
So have you learnt conveniently ignore her when she unloads her concerns ? Do you get lost in the TV shows , and do not even bother respond to her conversation?
Isn’t this disrespectful?
May be she is nagging or irritating you , but that doesn’t mean that you can pretend she does not exists.
Tell her that you have heard her point and you would keep that in mind.Tell her you understood her perspective and you certainly do have the right to tell her that you disagree when you have a valid reason. She might get a little miffed, but that is a lot better than you just sitting there surfing the internet or watching tv , not giving a damn.See how hearing her out actually makes a difference.

7.Never drag a biased third party to your problems

Husband and Wife are two individuals in a relationship.It is possible for them to have entirely different perceptions.Arguments between spouses is nothing unnatural.But what could be more irritating than roping in your family or your friends in to it ?
You are grown up people, you can sort out your problems. More over, the third parties might have a biased opinion and in most of the cases ends up fueling the problem or forcing a solution.

6. DO NOT take a big financial decision without consulting your wife

This is something that many men might disagree on. Its your hard earned money, why would you consult your wife before spending it?
But then, it is marriage and you are sharing your finances. She is either working  and contributing to the life expenses or has chose not to work to manage the house and children.
In both the cases, she needs and has a right to know how you are managing your finances. All big financial decisions needs to be discussed. She should be given a chance to weigh in the pros and cons.

5. DO NOT tell her what to do and what not


Your wife is not a child, she knows what she is doing. You are always welcome to tell her your points of view and offer her suggestions.
But accept her decisions and support her in it.

4. Do not stay away from your responsibilities.


Even if you are  super busy professional and your wife a stay home Mom ,do you think it is right to always come back home and relax , letting your wife take care of all the household works and the kids ?
Accept your responsibilities, do your share of cooking,cleaning and parenting. Help your wife whenever possible. After all sharing is caring!
Marriage is a life long partner ship, prove yourself as a worthy partner.

3.Never boast about what you did to help her.

So you pay her bills  or you drive her to office every day or you made her food when she was sick. That is great. But never keep reminding her all the ‘favors’ that you do to her.It just negates the effects. Marriage is all about helping each other, why keep a tab of the things you do for each other.

2.Give your wife her personal space.

Your wife is an individual with her own likes and dislikes.Never force your world on her.Let her enjoy things her way.never shut her off from her social circle.Respect her individuality and give her the personal space she deserves

1.Never physically assault or force sex

Tempers might fly,you may get into really nasty arguments. But never ever get physical. Never hurt her physically, never cross the boundaries of decency.After all we are humans, civilized ones, remember?

Never force her into sex.If you truly respect your wife, you would respect her feelings and her consent. After all marital rape is as bad as any other rapes. You can definitely work on these things and seek professional help if things are far from normal.

PS: Dear ladies, please replace these applies for us too, respect and be respected :).

Did I miss something? Ladies and Gentlemen do let me know!

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4 thoughts on “How to be an almost perfect spouse

  1. Absolutely loved all 10 points of yours and completely agree with them, and you know what, loved the last line the most.

    Very important post for all the husband bloggers out there (very few of them around, I know only one 😀 ), but important post nevertheless.

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