random

Confused


Sometimes I stare in to the mirror and see a stranger staring back at me. “Is that the real me?” I always wonder. Isn’t it strange that we are so trapped in our body that we cannot see what we look like without the help of something inanimate like a mirror?  How would I ever know how I look when I smile or when I was genuinely happy or when I had that scorn on my face unless I act it out in front of this mirror? will I ever know what I truly look like to others? Sometimes when I close my eyes and try to recall my face I end up etching a confused caricature.My features from the past and present , the familiar faces from around me all mix up together and  I feel lost. How queer is that God let me see everything around me through my eyes, but myself?

How true is this in case of the mind? Can I actually see through what my mind is, what my soul is?Do I actually know who I am or what I am ? Or has this earthly body prevented me from reaching out to the real me? Do i see what I want to see or what I think I want to see? I mean how much do I actually know me?

Here I am in this armor of flesh

I can see the world through my eyes

I can hear what it has to tell

I can feel the pain that it has caused.

I can smile at the little joys it gave me

I know this world better than anything else

I know its tricks and its betrayal

I know whom to trust and whom to love

I know what it wants me to do

The one thing I don’t know is who I am

The one thing that I am not sure is what I want.

I sometimes feel that who i am is not the real me. What I do is not done by me, its just a mechanical process. Some times my hollow words keep on echoing inside my ears and I keep wondering who spoke them out aloud.What am I doing here? Is this a mistake of some kind, was I misplaced or did I stray unknowingly. Is this some kind of amnesia?

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11 thoughts on “Confused

  1. You can be assured that you are not the only one with these questions. Most of us are trying to figure out who we are in our own ways, it’s just that you chose to blog about it while the rest of us chose different ways to figure it out, that’s all.

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